Saying Goodbye to Loved Ones
When I arrived at the orphanage at the end of 2005 I couldn’t speak Korean and didn’t know how to connect with kids well. I didn’t have any close friends in Korea and so I was alone often. Because of my inexperience with children and the language barrier, I would get worn out easily from trying to connect with the kids and would feel a bit heavy and down from my lack of emotional connection. I knew God would carry me through the first few months of transition, and the way He took care of me was really special.
My home has a baby room and when I arrived there were a bunch of very young boys and one very young girl, Yoon Ji. This girl was known as a tomboy who was usually distant from any visitors (male or female), but for some reason she was drawn to me from the beginning. Every time I would enter the baby room she would run over to me and put her arms up for me to pick her up and hold her. She loved it when I would chase her around and catch her. Our connection also felt stronger since neither of us could speak Korean.
(Yoon Ji and me, January 2006)
Whenever I would feel down I would go to the baby room in the home and just relax there with Yoon Ji and the other little ones. I was always so thankful of how God took care of me during that first year. My love language is physical touch and so while I didn’t have friends or family who I could receive a hug from, I could always count on sweet, little Yoon Ji for a happy hug.
But then during the summer of 2007 I found out that Yoon Ji would be moving back with her family within a few weeks. The news hit me hard and it was difficult for me to imagine life at the orphanage without her. But I knew that living with her family would be best for her. I committed her to the Lord and tried not to think about it too much.
On the day of her departure I went down to the baby room in the morning to spend one last time with her. She was still too young to be aware of what was going to happen, so she played with me like it was any other day. I finally held her and gave her a hug and said goodbye. She smiled and waved goodbye like she always did. I walked back to my room at the orphanage to have some prayer time, but I couldn’t shake how heavy my heart was that day. I felt God speak to me, “Let it out.” I let myself face the situation and the tears began to stream down my face. As I cried I thanked God for Yoon Ji and all that she had meant to me. I thanked God for different sweet memories that I had with her. I thanked God for taking care of her while she was at the children’s home and for making a way for her family to take her back. I then prayed and committed Yoon Ji to God. I prayed for her safety and for her to be blessed and grow well. My mind thought of the prayer, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” I knew that God had given me Yoon Ji for a season to love her and to cherish her. I knew that if I could entrust her to the Lord that He would then entrust me with many more beautiful relationships. With God His love always grows stronger and so His blessings are always meant to increase. We go from glory to glory with ever increasing glory, if we can trust Him and not cling on to former blessings. Instead of clinging on to them, we are meant to celebrate and remember them fondly, while trusting God is good and has more in store.
1Corinthians 13:8 says, “Love never fails.” In other translations it says, “Love never dies” and, “Love never ends.” I have had to say goodbye to many since coming to Korea. I’ve seen nine classes of kids from the orphanage graduate and move on and I’ve also said goodbye to many kids like Yoon Ji who were able to return to their family. I’ve also had to say goodbye to many friends I’ve made in this transient country who later returned to America or were called to go elsewhere. I’ve found with the relationships based on the true love of God that not one of them ever changed. While marriages and even kids have come for some, the genuine care, fun, and trust never ended. When we reconnect our friendship is just as strong as before.
Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” I’ve shed many tears for those I have had to say goodbye to, especially those that passed away or who I knew I would never see again (like Yoon Ji). But God has always been faithful to comfort me, especially as I remembered the sweet shared memories and thanked God. Make sure to let it out when a loved one goes, but also know that God always has even sweeter things to come in His time.
Future of Forestry – Close Your Eyes
Promise once it shut you out
You ask, “What was that all about now”?
You and I through rise and fall
We’ve seen the horizon through it all now
Close your eyes this time
Cause trust is all we have tonight
But trust will be forever
Safe your dreams will be
Cause trust will be the light tonight
So close your eyes this time
The house sits stale, it lets you roam
Inside it just don’t feel like home now
I promise hope will pull you out
For that’s love is all about
Close your eyes this time
Cause trust is all we have tonight
But trust will be forever
Safe your dreams will be
Cause trust will be the light tonight
So close your eyes this time
Time will turn this place around
For the man you call Jesus was still a son like you
Sons will spend their days searching hard for the things they are made of
Close your eyes this time
Cause trust is all we have tonight
But trust will be forever
Safe your dreams will be
Cause trust will be the light tonight
So close your eyes this time
