Disobedient Children

The following video went viral today of a school police officer grabbing a student at her desk and throwing her to the ground. It is disturbing to watch and immediately all sorts of judgments are being made. Apparently the student was told to stop a certain behavior (cell phone? chewing gum?) and kept refusing, to the point that the teacher had to call the officer to remove her from the classroom. She continued to refuse to leave, so the officer began to forcibly remove her. Personally, I feel that the the anger/fierceness the officer shows cannot be defended in any way. He looks exasperated and fed up and seems to have lost it.

I want to state again that I feel the force he showed in this video was scary and indefensible. But sadly, I can relate to his exasperation. I have experienced such frustration myself in dealing with rebellious children and have nearly lost it. I have also seen others lose it in similar ways in trying to discipline kids. It’s one thing for kids to do stupid things and get in trouble. It’s another thing when kids are outright rebellious and mock authority. Sadly, this is where kids are going these days. Fear, insecurity, entitlement, and longing for approval from peers are driving kids into such rebellious behavior. Personally, I don’t believe kids are just becoming more difficult, rather I believe that their parents (and lack of) are causing such behavior (and that media/music are also encouraging it).

People who study marriages say that when a husband and a wife focus more on loving each other their kids tend to be more stable. But when the husband and wife focus more on their kids than each other, the kids actually tend to become unstable and rebellious. Everything becomes out of balance. Because the parents choose not to love each other and instead focus their attention on their kid, their kid learns that love is a choice you don’t have to make. If the dad doesn’t have to love or respect the mom, then the kid doesn’t have to love or respect anyone. Also, rather than the love of the mom and the dad being the center and core of the family, instead that weight is put on the kids. It’s a weight no kid can carry, and can lead to more rebellion, entitlement, and fear.

This can also happen when a parent isn’t present or the kids are neglected or abused.  In such cases the absent parent demonstrates that living selfishly and abandoning family are fine. The abusive or neglectful parent demonstrates that their emotions and desires are so important that they can treat their kid in inhumane ways. In the end, all these unhealthy examples boil down to selfish parents. Their selfishness leads to unhealthy “love,” which isn’t love at all.

Love requires commitment, patience, and discipline. It’s no wonder kids are acting more rebellious and trying to show they are “cool” to their peers. They never got healthy attention from their family, so they’re seeking it from their peers. 2 Timothy 3:1-5 is a prophecy of the end times, and it’s becoming scarily true nowadays…

2 Timothy 3:1-2 – “But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy…”

So what do we do? If the world is going to get darker, then we have to get brighter. We have to be committed in love. We have to be patient. We have to discipline and not let such rebellion go unpunished. The toughest kids at my orphanage are the kids that were the least disciplined when they were younger. Lack of discipline actually leads to an orphan spirit (Hebrews 12:8).

If ever we feel like we’re hitting a breaking point of exasperation, then we need to remove ourselves from the situation for a moment and re-calibrate our mind and spirit. The kids cannot be in control. We cannot allow the spirits of anger, rebellion, fear, and insecurity that are oppressing the kids to oppress us as well, rather we need to make sure we are above the situation and that the Spirit of love, joy, and peace is working through us into the children. Having a spouse or a co-teacher or some sort of partner can be a huge help with this.

The following is a sermon that I preached about regarding how Satan’s chief desire is for us to be selfish, and how rather than letting ourselves selfishly follow our own heart we need to submit our hearts to Jesus, the true shepherd of our souls (1 Peter 2:25).