Seasons of Deeper Healing

This past year there have been a number of people I’ve been counseling through deeper healing. They are all Christians who have been walking with God for some time and have become respected leaders in our church. For some of them their ability to worship God was suddenly hindered and they found themselves suddenly frustrated or even angry with the Lord. For most of them, they discovered memories from their childhood coming back up in their minds, this time with fresh emotions: often anger, confusion, frustration, and/or sadness. For those whose worship was suddenly hindered, often with counsel the roots of their struggle came from past bad memories of their father, their mother, or an absent parent. For so long these leaders had walked with joy with God thinking they weren’t hindered from any trauma in the past, but suddenly God wanted to bring them into a place of deeper healing.

For the kids at my orphanage some of them have endured trauma (intense abuse, neglect, and other evil) that would cause many people to cry ceaselessly, reject everyone around them, and even want to die. But by God’s grace, many of them are able to live at least for a while without dwelling on their past trauma. It’s like scar tissue has covered up the wound and they’re able to keep going. But when their wounds are pressed, whether through fresh rejection or memories suddenly resurfacing, their emotions can often overwhelm them and they need time to recover.

For many Christians when they first accept Christ into their hearts there is initial joy and peace that is very sweet. We’re suddenly able to receive and grasp God’s love, and it’s wonderful! But our capacity to receive and give God’s love is still small. It takes time for growth and maturing in His love. It takes time to grow deep trust in God.

And it’s when the trust gets deeper that God will often deem it time for deeper healing. God will remove that scar tissue that had been repressing/covering up past hurts and begin to deal with them like a surgeon dealing with an infected wound. Some of my leaders have confessed feeling like teenagers again with fresh anger and frustration toward their parent(s) who had knowingly or unknowingly hurt them. Rather than tell them to just forgive and repress the hurt, I encourage them to share and process what had happened with me and my wife. Emotions need to be felt. And they need to experience God’s emotion regarding what happened too. This can take time, and I know it is not meant to be finished within just a week or two. We will trade e-mails here and there (usually once a week) before eventually having some time together to pray through specific memories, forgive the parents or other people who did the trauma (not broad prayers of forgiveness, but specific prayers, such as for certain hurtful memories), renounce false identities and declare their true identity in Christ (“I renounce that I am forgotten, I declare God is Immanuel and that He is always with me!”).

When repressed memories surface and the need for deeper healing comes up for my leaders they can often feel like they’re suddenly not as strong as they once were. But that is far from the truth! Rather, God cannot bring deeper levels of healing to us only until we are mature enough in His love and truth to receive it. And having a loving, safe community to go through the healing with is also just as crucial.

If you have been going through something like this then please do not be discouraged, but rather encouraged! God is taking you deeper into Him. Find some trusted spiritual leaders and begin to process with them and with God what you’re going through.

If you don’t have a spiritual leader you can process things through with, then pray and ask God to connect you with good people. Jesus said in John 14:18 – “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” Even if you might not have anyone for a season that you can trust and have close fellowship with, pray and trust that God will meet your needs (Philippians 4:19) and that He won’t leave you alone.

It’s okay to feel anger or frustration or sadness. Emotions need to be processed. Recently one of the orphanage boys we have been mentoring shared with us that he is experiencing emotions more with God and finds himself laughing more and crying more, something he hadn’t done as much before. God has been healing the numbness and scar tissue in his heart. We’re excited for him! So be excited too if you find yourself going through one of these seasons of deeper healing.

Psalm 139:23-24 – Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

All of Psalm 139 is often powerful for anyone going through such a season. =)