Love and Burdens

One of the greatest struggles for our Oak Tree Project students (and all orphans for that matter) is understanding the difference between actions done out of love and actions done solely out of responsibility. They see a lot of the social workers at the orphanages working solely out of responsibility and the kids often notice that they are a burden to them. Because of this, orphans as they grow older tend to try and take care of themselves. They don’t want to be a burden to other people any longer. So often they avoid seeking counsel and can often suffer through hard times without telling anyone.

Recently a boy who left the orphanage I serve at was hit by a car. He was hospitalized for a month and chose not to tell any of the staff from the orphanage (including me) about his condition. I found out what happened through another boy from the orphanage a few weeks after the accident had happened. The boy who was hit by the car didn’t want anyone from the orphanage to know because he didn’t want to “be a burden” to us. In his mind, visiting him in the hospital would be trouble for us and he also didn’t want us worrying about him. I, of course, wasn’t grateful for his decision to hide his condition from us. Rather, I was upset that I learned so late. I wish I could have visited him and prayed for him! While it would have taken some extra time from my schedule to visit and while I would have felt concern for him, I wouldn’t have been burdened by it because I love him. Love removes burdens.

I shared with one of our Oak Tree Project students this story and he felt he would have done the same as the boy, not telling anyone about his condition out of concern of being a burden. The student was convinced that anyone would be burdened by hearing the bad news and needing to visit. So I had to explain to him…

If something were to happen to me and I were hospitalized or bedridden, my wife Sky would not moan about “what a burden” I had become. She wouldn’t wish she were alone or with someone else. Instead, because of her love for me, she would look after me. While it would indeed hurt her heart to see me in a tough condition, she wouldn’t trade me for anything and it would hurt her so much more to be apart from me. She would rather have me in whatever condition I’m in than not have me at all, not because I can offer anything to her but rather because she loves me. It wouldn’t be easy for her, but she would never say I was a burden to her. Her love would never allow her to think in that way. Love removes selfishness, which removes any feelings of burden. Love enables us to take up our cross and not be weighed down by it, but rather carry it and follow God.

A selfish person is burdened by any inconvenience. A selfish person has no love to offer. A person filled with love experiences the complete opposite. There is no inconvenience with pure love. Love is selfless. Love is kind. Hebrews 12:2 reads of Jesus, “For the joy set before him he endured the cross.” While the cross was indeed painful and difficult, Jesus refused to approach it as a burden or inconvenience. His sincere love for us was too great for him to be weighed down by any selfishness.