The Need to Be Strong
Whenever I visit my children’s home, especially after being away for a long period, there can be a temptation to brace myself for the kids being distant or cold toward me. There can also be a selfish, insecure desire in me for the kids to be happy to see me and run to me. But what it all comes down to is that my insecurities end up putting me at the same level or even lower than the kids that I am supposed to be ministering to. I’m not the one who has been orphaned. I’m not the one who is still young and trying to find my identity. I’m not the one who is supposed to need healing.
Insecurities are a sign of a faulty identity. They are a sign that a person isn’t secure in certain areas and needs these areas to be affirmed and built up, otherwise they may bend or even break. While every person is in need of affirmation, the sources that we rely on for affirmation should never be below us. It’s fine for a teacher to be affirmed by a student, but if the teacher is reliant on the students for affirmation then the students will effectively be in authority over the teacher. That is backward and completely unhealthy. No children should have the burden of making sure their parents are secure. That is unhealthy for both the children and the parents. Affirmation should come from God and from healthy mentors, leaders, and peers. It’s the truth of God that fully establishes us.
1John 4:19 says, “We love because God first loved us.” Our ability to love comes from the love that we receive. So if we want to receive love from people, especially those who we are called to minister to, then we need to be generous in pouring out love into them first. The more we love them, the healthier and the stronger they become.
When I returned to my children’s home yesterday after being away for almost four weeks, I entered with a big smile on my face. I knew the kids needed to know I was happy to see them. As I called out each name the kids lit up and ran to me with big smiles and open arms. There were a few kids that remained distant at first, but I made sure to go up to each with a big greeting and hug and soon enough each would smile and respond well.
If I were to allow my insecurities to affect me in front of the kids, then they would never be able to receive and learn confident love. If I were to allow my insecurities to affect me in front of the kids then rather than being a source of hope and joy for the children I would instead be a discouragement to them, demonstrating to them that they might never get over their own insecurities since I couldn’t get over mine. Insecurities must be dealt with away from them, by prayer, by the Word, and by fellowship (accountability, encouragement, etc.). There is a need to be strong!
There is no insecurity too great for God to straighten out. Moses was extremely insecure when God called him and he had different struggles, but God made him into one of the greatest leaders that ever lived. So take heart and know that we are more than conquerors through Him who loves us. Be the light you were made to be!
