Married Couples Q&A – When Do You Know He/She is the One?
The following is another clip from the married couples Q&A time we had at our church recently (www.newphilly.cc). This question comes up a lot and I hope this video (and the following blog post) blesses you. I think all of the sharing in here is really good…
Plain and simple: Love is a choice and there is a point that choice must be made (“I’m choosing to love this person for life”). I personally believe there are matches made in heaven and set apart by God, but I definitely don’t believe in love always being a constant state of ecstasy where you are 100% confident your relationship is perfection. Hollywood tries to make love out that way, but nowadays almost every romantic hookup on TV/in the movies ends up with sex the first night, as if the people just know they are meant to be just because they are both attractive, can say a few witty lines, and want to have sex. They chose lust, not love. Love is a commitment for life. Lust is sex right after a romantic night together. People wanting those crazy Hollywood fireworks for their future relationship are likely to be very disappointed. Romance/pursuit while dating is fun and great (especially when boundaries are honored), but it gets really old fast when it becomes clear there is no commitment. Love is a lot deeper than just a few exhilarating romantic meetings. Love should always age like wine, getting better and better as you go.
Song of Songs 4:7 – All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
No crazy romantic could ever fully experience that type of love without love and faith in God. Even earlier in the book of Song of Songs the woman herself says she is “dark but lovely.” Basically she stated she has been overworked in the sun and hasn’t been able to take as good care of her body like some of the other women. But irregardless of her condition, her lover finds her perfect. He chooses to see her as perfect and he compliments her in every area. That is the power of love!
Proverbs 17:9 – He who covers over an offense promotes love.
I think that verse can also mean, “He/she who looks over an offense on the opposite sex and choose to focus on his/her better spots promotes love.” No one is perfect. Everyone has blemishes… physically, socially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I don’t think anyone can find someone and say, “This person is absolutely perfect for me” without saying it in faith, choosing to love the person and appreciate them for their good while also choosing to overlook their blemishes. That is true love. That is God’s love for us!
My wife and I would both say we are perfect for each other. Our love story is so powerful it is really hard to deny that God put us together. But at the same time we say we are perfect for each other, there are still little things about each other that we would want to tweak or to change if we could (different hobbies, food interests, bad habits, etc). But that’s where true love really shines. We’ve learned to love each other fully despite the blemishes and really appreciate each other. And our love for each other is truly getting better and better, just like well-aged wine. I’m so glad we chose to love one another!
