Letting Go of Regret

Being a melancholy, I tend to overthink things and be hard on myself. I used to have a habit of nitpicking my weaknesses and dwelling on any mistakes. I could get into bed exhausted ready to sleep only to find myself suddenly thinking about some mistake or awkward moment and becoming wide awake. The regret from those memories was a weight I could never escape.

It wasn’t until later that I learned that regret is essentially bitterness and unforgiveness against oneself. While I could forgive others for their wrongs against me, for some reason I couldn’t forgive myself. When memories involving regret would come to mind I would dwell on how embarrassed or ashamed I was. I would condemn myself for my actions and analyze my wrongdoings. What misery!

The twist came when I found myself counseling other people with their own regrets. I would lead them through forgiving themselves and would speak God’s love, truth, and grace over them. And then God began to poke at me, “Do the same for yourself.” I realized no matter who we are we can’t hold ourselves to some perfect standard and beat ourselves up over our wrongdoings. We’re all sinners and we all make mistakes. That’s why Jesus died for us. We all need a Savior and He chose to forgive us. And we need to do the same to ourselves.

Isaiah 43:18-19a – Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!

Jeremiah 31:34b – For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

If you’ve been carrying regret, then take a moment to dwell on those two verses, speaking them out. Confess your sins to God and receive His grace. And then show yourself grace by forgiving yourself of your regrets. Give the regrets to God. Declare you are a new creation (2Corinthians 5:17). Learn to laugh at yourself for the smaller regrets. And for the bigger ones, share them with people you trust. They’re loving words will help remove the weight of the regret from your shoulders.