Crucial Marriage Prep…

If you are continually neglecting your body then you should not get married. Let me repeat that… if you are continually neglecting your body then you should not get married.

Ephesians 5:28-30 – In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

Many people think that although they are undisciplined with their own bodies and neglect themselves at times (eat junk food all the time, skip meals, poor sleeping habits, don’t clean their house, just do whatever), that when they get married because of “their great love” for their spouse they will be able to be disciplined and care for their spouse perfectly. I’m sorry, but those thoughts are foolishness. We love because God first loved us. The love that we give we have to receive first. So if we have neglected our body or have been undisciplined with it, then how can we expect our body to be healthy and disciplined in loving someone else?

If you have been neglecting your body then it is crying out for health. If someone put something heavy or sharp on you then your body would begin sending signals to your brain for you to get it off. Sadly for things like junk food, poor sleeping habits, meal skipping, untidy houses, and other unhealthy habits the body is sending warning messages to your brain but the messages have been ignored. And so if you neglect your body for a long time then when you get married you will suddenly find yourself wanting to be cared for by your spouse, rather than you caring for them. Why? Because your body is starved for health and it can’t find any help from you, so instead it’s looking to your spouse to care for it.

God calls us to love our spouse as we love our own bodies. So, what is your love for your spouse going to look like? You can look at how you care for your body as a clue.

Now, please don’t get me wrong in thinking that someone that is perfectly fit is going to make a perfect spouse. This isn’t true for all because some such people aren’t just meeting their needs, they are worshipping their body. That’s actually unhealthy. But if a person who is perfectly fit genuinely puts the same amount of effort in loving their spouse as they do in caring for their own body, then they will indeed be a great lover.  We just need to start with ourselves. I’m not calling for us to be selfish, but I’m calling for us to treat our bodies as the temples of the Holy Spirit that they are. Don’t neglect the needs of your body. Skip a coffee now and then and instead buy a bag of fruit. Spend an extra dollar on something more healthy on the menu, or go to the grocery store and make something simple that is far more healthier than take-out food. Take some time to clean your place and develop healthy cleaning habits. You will find yourself feeling less stressed and more confident. The same goes for some exercise.

If you really want to get good at loving other people and if you want to be a great spouse, then you need to get good at loving yourself. Take care of your needs. Don’t neglect your body!

*This little blurb was a piece from my sermon “Knowing Your Needs,” preached on May 27, 2012 at New Philadelphia Church. You can listen to it in full here or download it on iTunes via New Philadelphia 2012. There is a lot of good stuff in it, including a bit more crucial marriage prep. Take a listen!*